The Toothpaste Theory

5. September 2013 – Sydney, Australia
At the moment I am thinking a lot about my journey, my dreams, my plans and about where I want to be one day. My feelings are so mixed because everything is happening so extremely fast. Sometimes when I travelled through Thailand and Laos I was overwhelmed by all the temples, streets, buildings, smells, boats, people… After a while I just looked at a temple and thought: “Oh – I guess that´s really nice…” but I couldn’t really be too fascinated by it because it became normal to see incredible things every day. There was too much beauty, too many impressions, such mixed feelings… sometimes I’d cry because there was so much beauty and sometimes I just felt nothing because there were too many feelings so they just all shut down.
When that happened, it was a sign for me to stop… to just stop moving. So I stayed at the next place that I really liked and did nothing. How wonderful that was!
Talking to other people who have also travelled for such a long time made me understand that this is a totally normal way of experiencing things and that everything was just going well. I only had to allow all these feelings to be there and observe them consciously.
This is not a holiday for me. I think it might be a holiday when one toothpaste tube is enough to last for the whole trip. If you need to buy another one, it is your normal life and not a holiday anymore. This is my life at many different places. I am travelling for 9 months. I have to buy new toothpaste every now and then, I have to buy new shampoo, maybe even new shoes, get my hair cut, … and my backpack is my home. All my belongings suddenly fit into a backpack and I realize that actually I need nothing.   
Right now I am wondering about how I want to continue my journey… Am I happy with it the way I planned it many months ago or do I want to change a few things? It is all a bit much to think about, so I will make baby steps and … maybe just buy some new toothpaste for now.
(this post was imported from my former travel blog)

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